You know you’re old when ...

• You know you are old when you’ve been there and done that, but don’t remember what “that” was.

• You know you are old when you stop growing at both ends and start growing in the middle.

• You know you are old when you got to second base with a TSA screener.

• You know you are old when the only females who pursue you are mosquitoes.

• You know you are old when you are too old to learn new tricks but your old tricks work just as well.

• You know you are old when you knew when the Dead Sea was only sick.

• You know you are old when you go to the beach and turn a wonderful color: Blue. It’s from holding your stomach in.