Get elected; avoid an indictment
By Gregg Wendorf
Advance News Journal
As mentioned in this week’s story above the newspaper fold — "Another fed indictment: Why people risk so much for so little?" — white-collar crime in South Texas seems out of whack. Meaning, it appears too much pay-to-play is at play, pardon the pun.
Based on previous published news stories in The Advance, there are some very good public officials in Hidalgo County, but on occasion, one, or two, or three, four, five, or six slip through the cracks and end up in trouble with the law.
Note: Jorge “Coach” Salinas remains innocent until proven guilty despite being indicted on two counts for bribery and racketeering.
Moving forward, to set things back on a better track, I’d be willing to offer public officials better ways to play it smart instead of dumb. I’ll teach them how to avoid prison and a hefty fine.
This service will also be offered to vendors doing business with public entities.
I’m not going to offer any money-back guarantee. If they do decide to engage in criminal activity, ignore my advice, and get caught and sent to prison, that’s their business, not mine. I’m just here to offer them some advice on what to do vs. what not to do while trying to play it straight.
Call it The Wendorf Consulting Group for Honest Politicians and Vendors. I’ll even offer monthly workshops.
I’ve covered enough white-collar crime stories over the years to know what to avoid. Bribes, that sort of thing. Free trips to the Bahamas, courtesy of a vendor.
It is ironic, though, that the only elected office that a convicted felon can occupy is in the U.S. Congress. You can’t run for a city commission or school board seat with a felony record, but you can run for a congressional seat. Makes sense.
The workshops and consulting service will offer advice to elected officials and vendors who are not quite sure what the definition of a “bribe” really is. Some think it’s a gray area, but clearly, the feds think differently.
My workshop and consulting service will include both groups: the would-be givers and the would-be takers.
A two-day workshop for $500. Lunch and liquid refreshment included.
Bring a friend, and for two, the cost will only be $750 (second workshop ticket half-price). I’ll book a conference room in Reynosa because I can rent one there far cheaper than on this side of the border. It will be safe. Trust me.
Does greed turn relatively smart people stupid? Does money blind people into making stupid decisions? Or are they already just greedy, brought up in homes that taught them no values, no ethics?
Hard to say. Just look at D.C. Clearly, some elected officials and vendors need some sort of direction. Unfortunately, one’s degree of intelligence has nothing to do with getting elected. Hire enough politiqueras and anyone can get elected, even if they can’t spell the word: elekted.
Workshop Advice
For those elected to office, and the vendors who do business with public entities, who are still unsure of what can land them in prison, multiple-choice questions will be offered: “Do you think it’s a good idea to approach a school board member, city official you don’t know very well and try to bribe him or her?”
My answer would be: “No.”
“Why not?” some might ask, which is the point of the workshop.
“Because how do you know the person that you’re attempting to bribe won’t immediately call the FBI after you leave his (or her) office and say, ‘I’ve just had a vendor in my office trying to bribe me.’” “I hadn’t thought of that.” Which is why you need this workshop. For $500, it will be well worth the time and expense.
How about: “Should I accept money from an out-of-town vendor? He’s even promising to pay me in cash. All I have to do is promise to vote in favor of his RFP, even if his (or hers) is more expensive than the competition’s.”
As a paid consultant, my answer would be:
“Look, if the vendor gets caught, the first thing he or she is going to do is rat you out.”
“I hadn’t thought of that.”
Which is why the $500 workshop looks cheap in comparison to a five-year prison sentence in the federal slammer.
Bid-rigging is also a big deal these days. For both vendors and elected officials. My workshop will show you what to do, and what not to do if you’re leaning toward bid-rigging as a way to help buy that big South Padre Island vacation home.
First rule, if you’re an elected official, don’t ever be seen in a bar with a vendor with whom you’re doing business. Big red flag. Also, pay for your own drinks and save the receipts.
Just not sure how to word my ad:
“Are you a would-be white-collar criminal looking to do work with a crooked vendor? Then this workshop is for you. For only $500 learn how to avoid committing a crime. Stay in office. Avoid a visit from the FBI.”
Last but certainly not least, let’s say you’ve already messed up, you didn’t attend this upcoming workshop and you know the feds are already on to you; they’re already looking into your alleged criminal activity, cell phone records, emails, bank records.
If that’s the case, don’t wait to see if you’ll get indicted. Bad idea. Instead, hire a good attorney who is familiar with the federal judiciary and go straight to the U.S. Attorney’s Office ASAP. Corner of Bicentennial and Bus. 83.
First one who walks through the door usually gets the best plea deal. Admit you screwed up and beg for forgiveness.
Most white-collar criminal activity includes just plain old common sense. Which is what seems to be lacking these days in the world of politics and doing business with elected officials.
Like the French Philosopher Voltaire once said: Common sense isn’t so common.
The spate of Valley arrests for white-collar crimes would seem to validate that statement.
Really, my best advice is: don’t become a crook. Better to be poor and free.
Like Kris Kristofferson, born in Brownsville, once wrote in Bobby McGee:
“Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose
“Nothin’ ain’t worth nothin’, but it’s free.”