Murdered wife had no chance
By Gregg Wendorf
Advance News Journal
Call this an opinion piece as opposed to a news story, because it’s hard to write some news copy without getting so angry at the perp that you wish you could rewind time and teach the murdered victim how to shoot.
So that when 44-year-old Richard Ford showed up to kidnap and murder his ex-wife, Melissa Banda, Aug. 6, 2020, she could have pulled a .40-caliber Glock from her purse and saved herself.
Instead, he ended her life in brutal fashion with the knife he carried before dumping her body in a field on the outskirts of Donna.
Convicted last week of capital murder (kudos to lead prosecutor Hope Palacios), Ford will now spend the remainder of his life in state prison, watching TV, maybe playing some basketball, laughing, joking, pretending perhaps that he’s found God.
Sometimes the world just isn’t fair.
Despite the mountain of evidence against him, including surveillance video of him kidnapping his ex-wife at her sister’s home, her blood found in his vehicle, anecdotal evidence that he was a danger to her well-being, Banda decided, for some reason, not to buy a gun for protection, depending instead on a protective order.
Thing about protective orders is that too often, they don’t protect. To get police to arrest someone for violating one, the person who files it needs proof that it has indeed been violated.
Over time, Melissa Banda told McAllen police that she was sure her ex-husband was stalking her, violating the protective order, but no proof has yet been offered that she had evidence to that effect.
To arrest someone for violating a protective order, cops need proof. Too often, ex-wives have used them to falsely accuse the husband. No doubt in my mind that Ford was indeed violating the court order, but he was apparently (allegedly) clever enough to mask his movements.
Approximately six months before Ford killed his ex-wife, he assaulted her, choked her, and threatened to harm their three children if she reported it to police.
She reported it anyway, which led to his arrest. The next day, he was back on the streets.
This sad story also points to why any woman, or man for that matter, should run a background check on a significant other before marrying him/her.
Apparently, Melissa Banda had no idea that the smiling guy with the shaved head, Richard Ford, had a violent criminal history when she married him in 2008. Nine years later, she reportedly had enough of his violent streak and filed for divorce, which apparently enraged him even more.
In 1998, at the relatively young age of 18, Richard Ford was arrested and charged with assault.
For that crime, he pled guilty and got a six-month sentence (community service).
Apparently, that made such an impression that approximately three years later (April 2021), he was arrested and charged with attempted murder (he shot the victim).
For that crime, he pled guilty in the 206th state District Court and was sentenced a year later – eight years of community supervision.
Two years later, Ford was arrested on a theft charge, pled guilty, and got more community supervision (six months). By this time he had turned 23.
Protective Orders Fail to Protect
In this sad, tragic case, which, again, is being written as an opinion piece and not a straight news story, simply because the outcome is so maddening to this writer, there are reasons why women caught up in abusive marriages should not rely on a court-ordered protective order to keep them safe, alive.
According to the National Domestic Hotline, here are a few reasons why they fail to protect the woman being abused, or in some cases, the man:
Limited Enforcement: Unfortunately, enforcing protective orders can be challenging. Law enforcement resources are stretched thin, and responding to violations might not be a high priority unless immediate harm seems imminent.
Violations and Loopholes: Abusers may disregard the order or find ways to circumvent it. This could involve stalking, contacting the victim indirectly, or showing up at places they know the victim frequents.
Intimidation and Fear: The abuser may use threats or intimidation to keep the victim from reporting violations. The victim might fear further retaliation if they report a violation.
Shared Child Custody: If the couple has children, shared custody arrangements can make it difficult to completely avoid contact with the abuser. This can leave the exwife vulnerable, especially during exchanges or pickups.
Which means, the only real way an abused ex-wife can fully protect herself and/or her kids is to fight fire with fire. Buy a gun and learn how to shoot.
If Melissa Banda had done that, laid aside any fears she might have had handling a weapon, at least she might be alive today to enjoy life with her family and children, who must now live with the loss of both parents, given the fact that Richard Ford will spend his remaining years locked away in state prison with no chance of parole.
In the writing of this opinion piece, I did an online search for how a woman can remain safe from a violent ex-husband. They include tips such as “Don’t go out alone,” or “swear off social media,” or “spend more time in public locations,” or “be ready in case of attack.”
The “be ready” tip suggests carrying “pepper spray.”
Which might be fine, but it’s not as serious as carrying a .40-caliber Glock or even a .38-caliber Smith & Wesson with hollow points.
Why “stay safe” columns seldom include mention of a gun, who knows. Maybe the stories I read don’t want to suggest that for reasons hard to fathom. Maybe the writers oppose guns out of hand. Instead they’d rather include tips such as “take a self-defense class.”
Great, but to really protect yourself, buy a gun, take a gun-safety class, learn how to become a proficient shooter, so when a guy like Richard Ford shows up with malicious intent, you won’t end up the way poor Melissa Banda ended up her life.
Sad.
Can’t Disarm Them
Just remember, though, that your (ex-husband) attacker may be armed as well even if a court-ordered protective order is supposed to keep him in check and he’s already violated it.
At least in Texas, where the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled last year that people under protective orders for committing domestic violence may still keep their guns.
From a TexasTribune.org story published last year that falls in the category of “mind blowing. The news story carried this headline — “Appeals court ruling says alleged domestic abusers have a constitutional right to keep their guns.”
The first two graphs from that story begin: “In the span of a month during the winter of 2020, Zackey Rahimi was involved in five shootings around Arlington, according to court documents. He shot at someone’s house after selling them prescription narcotics. After getting into a car accident, he shot at a car, returned in another vehicle and shot at the car again. Three days before Christmas, he shot at a constable’s car. And after New Year’s, he fired shots into the air outside a Whataburger after his friend’s credit card was declined.”
Clearly, the guy had a violent streak. Still, the court ruled he still had a right to keep his firearm: “During all these incidents, Rahimi was not supposed to have guns, one restriction of a protective order issued in February 2020 after he allegedly assaulted his girlfriend. When police officers executed a search warrant in connection with Rahimi’s alleged shooting spree, they found a handgun and a rifle — which violated both state and federal law. Rahimi was indicted by a federal grand jury for possession of a firearm while under a domestic violence restraining order.”
So far, so good, but then the 5th Circuit stepped in and ruled otherwise: “Rahimi argued in court that the charge violated his constitutional rights, and the courts initially disagreed. But in the wake of a landmark 2022 ruling in New York State Rifle & Pistol Association v. Bruen, in which the U.S. Supreme Court established a new standard that modern gun control laws must be ‘consistent with the Second Amendment’s text and historical understanding,’ Rahimi’s case was reheard, and the 5th Circuit, in an opinion authored by Donald Trump appointee Cory T. Wilson, agreed that Rahimi’s rights were violated when law enforcement disarmed him due to the protective order.”
Given that bit of insanity, what’s the answer for an ex-wife scared to death?
Buy two guns. The thing about Richard Ford, given the fact that I couldn’t personally attend the trial, I look at photos of him taken and published by other news outlets as he sat in court, and there is no look of remorse on his face. In several photos, he even has a smile on his face.
The unfairness of it all. Based on other published accounts, Melissa Banda was a sweet woman who loved her kids, but feared her ex-husband.
She is dead, but he’s still alive. If only the hands of time could be rewound.