Two years lost to needless chemo?

Is there anything worse than the dying process? A few things, yes, like the loss of a child, but in terms of heartbreak, it ranks right up there near the top of life’s misery index. That includes those who are forced to endure it, which includes all of us at one time or another, and the loved ones forced to watch it pass us by.

Speaking of death, an old buddy of mine, “Willie” Seguin, died this past May, and I recently got a hand-written letter from his wife, who wanted to share her thoughts about cancer, chemotherapy, and the state of medicine, which was enlightening, to say the least.

Willie was one of those guys who worked hard his entire career. A New York City native, born to Cuban parents, he landed in the RGV in 1978 and went to work for the City of McAllen, quickly advancing to finance director. Other stints in the workplace included serving as assistant bridge director for the City of Pharr, San Juan city manager, and Mission deputy city manager.

Married to a career educator, I can remember Willie first counting the years and then the months until he and his wife could finally retire.

In 2018, with their retirement pensions firmly in hand, Willie and his wife relocated to a country spot in Pennsylvania, west of Philly, and built themselves a new home.

Four short years later, he was diagnosed with a badnews form of malignant cancer.

How often is that the case? A man, or a woman, works for more than four decades, retires, and then within a relatively short period of time, they’re given some terrible medical news, followed by death a short time later.

If that’s not a perfect example of how unfair life can be at times, I don’t know what is.

In contrast, I know of a few guys, hardly ever worked, massively overweight, drink like a fish, smoke like a chimney, and live to be almost 90.

What’s the moral of that story?

Don’t ever retire.

In the end, only God knows the reasons why?

Who knows, but it’s patently unfair we think, to those of us who see it pass by.

Turns out, Willie went through an approximate twoyear chemo process that never had any chance of curing what ailed him — a rare form of cancer, shall we say, according to his wife, now obviously heartbroken, suffering terrible grief.

I don’t really want to name the cancer that killed my buddy because someone might actually have it who is reading this and not get it checked out properly, thinking, what’s the point?

The point of the letter I received from Willie’s wife is that he complained about a dull pain on his side for years, and yet, no doc ever thoroughly checked out his complaint until it was too late.

By the time his cancer was diagnosed, his chances of survival were almost nil.

From the letter Willie’s wife wrote:

“After Willie passed, I had the courage to read up on everything and anything related to his cancer. I came to find out that there is no cure for (the type of cancer he had). It does not respond to any type of chemo.”

In the case of Willie Seguin, however, the way his wife feels now is that they lost two good years as a couple.

“So all those treatments were for nothing. We could have enjoyed those two years instead of dealing with chemo treatments and the effects – lost days at the cancer center instead of traveling and visiting loved ones.”

The treatments Willie had for his form of cancer included one year of chemo treatments, then major surgery to remove tumors that began to develop in his abdominal area. The oncologist said he hoped to give him 18 months of a chemo-free life.

Instead, after only five months, the cancer came back with a vengeance.

The oncologist wanted to get him back on aggressive chemo treatments before a doctor he saw at the hospital told him, basically, look, it’s probably best to stop these treatments and instead, look to hospice care, palliative care, which is what Willie did in the end.

Final Thoughts

In the letter Willie’s wife, Dora, wrote, she mentions some of the things she learned from their sad journey spent in cancer centers, holding hands:

1) Cancer sucks.

2) (Some) oncologists see you as a patient (number), not as a person with family, dreams, goals, more life worth living.

3) If you have an ailment, do not stop seeking answers.

4) Willie was “extremely brave throughout the surgeries, chemotherapy, and even death. He never asked, why me? He always faced each challenge head on and with a positive attitude.”

The added sad part to this story, other than I’ll never get to play golf with him again, is that the world just lost another one of the good ones. The guy would help anyone in need and had a great sense of humor.

RIP, amigo.