1. Marriages are made in heaven. But then again, so is thunder and lightning.2. If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.3. Marriage is grand — and divorce is at least 100 grand.4. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.5. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of ...