A sad, painful time: Losing a spouse

It will be five weeks ago this Friday that my wife of 40 years and one month passed away, and I’m still having a hard time processing it.

The fact that I’m just getting around to writing about the loss says a lot since I can write just about anything, but this experience, not so much.

If anyone deserves a tribute, it would be Jan. If for nothing else, for putting up with me for four decades.

Like any long-standing marriage, ours had its ups and downs, but in the end, we were there for each other, and that’s the bottom line.

My wife and I co-owned this newspaper after we bought it from my parents in 1993 after my mother fell ill with ALS.

Without Jan, The Advance wouldn’t be what it is today, since she largely handled the financial side of things and kept us afloat in the ‘90s when times were tough.

My wife deserves a better tribute piece than what this column has to offer this week, certainly a longer column singing her praises, but I need some more time to process the grief that such a loss brings.

Jan died in the early morning hours of Sept. 25th, due to complications tied to pneumonia, possible lung cancer, blood clots, and emphysema. She was 75, one month shy of turning 76. Too young.

The entire process from her first admission to the hospital, one of three, was on July 5, which means, she spent 12 weeks fighting for her life.

The only good to come out of this was that she got to pass away at home, which was her wish, in the early morning hours, with me by her side to remind her that she was loved.

I’ll write my wife a longer tribute column, singing her many praises, in the weeks to come, but I need some more time to, like I already mentioned, process this loss.

We lose friends, parents, in–laws, but compared to a spouse of many years, nothing quite compares.