Xmas Cheer: Don't Honk

It’s Monday, 5:54 a.m., and I’m sitting at my keyboard wondering what to write.

Or, as some recent college graduates might write: “what to right.”

I’m not going to think about the sad state of illiteracy among our young, though, because it’s Christmas this week, which brings bittersweet memories as I recount the many holiday seasons gone before. As we age, this time of year takes on different meanings, some good; some bad.

“Like the DWI I got two Christmases ago, and my old lady wouldn’t bail me out? Told me to call my girlfriend instead? But we’d already broken up.”

Uh, no, we’re talking about the real Christmas, the most wonderful time for kids, or at least the fortunate few in the world who grow up with at least the bare necessities of life, much less born into a family with money to buy presents.

For the ones who don’t grow up in poverty, they can remember the fun presents, family Christmases spent together.

“Like the one when my two uncles got into a fight after drinking a case of beer Christmas morning, and the sheriff deputies had to come out, and that’s when they found the meth? By accident. Lawyer says the bust weren’t legal.”

Uh, no, we’re talking about the fun holidays when everyone gets together. Christmas cheer. That sort of thing.

“Like when my grandma got released from prison on Christmas Eve.”

Yeah, there you go. Something happy. Was she able to turn her life around?

“Sure, but then a week after she got paroled, she got into a fight with her sister over the same guy…worthless… can’t remember his name.”

Forget about your grandma for a minute.

“Sure, but she ain’t doing too well back in the joint. Now she’s got cirrhosis, or whatever that thing is you get when you drink too much. I blame my uncles.”

Okay, great, our best to your grandma and family as a whole. Still, for a whole lot of people out there, Christmas is a wonderful time of the year. They get to enjoy the wonder of childhood. Then they become parents and get to see Christmas through the eyes of a child. The wonder. Christmas songs.

“I wonder when my grandma will get out this time? That’s what I wonder.”

Why don’t you go visit with the news people over at Valley Central, KRGV, KURV? I know they’ll want to visit with you. Hear of your interesting family background.

“I haven’t told you about how the sheriff busted the last cock fight outside Progreso. My uncles was making some real money. That was before they got a piece of the Edcouch casino. Of course, they lost their money doing that, too.”

Sure, go tell them.

“Can I borrow your truck? I lost my license, but I’m still good to drive. I drove for one of the politiqueras last election.”

No. Goodbye.

For some reason, the newspaper business attracts all sorts.

A Wonderful Time

Anyway, back to Christmas — it is a wonderful time of the year for those who haven’t dealt with tragedy this past year – deceased family and friends – or in any recent years, for that matter, because the only thing that helps to heal a broken heart is the passage of time.

On a side note, there are so many people out there and about these days who are on the edge for whatever reason. The state of the country, bad luck in their own lives, that they’re “this close” to losing it.

So if we’re at a traffic light, and the driver in front of us is texting, forgetting to drive, it’s probably still not a good idea to honk.

Because these days, you don’t know who the driver is ahead of you, holding up traffic. They just may be that guy, that woman, who just needs one more thing to set them off, and they’re armed. All they need is the slightest provocation.

“Hoooooooonk.”

Yep, that might just do it.

Anyway, that’s what I told our son when I taught him to drive. Don’t engage with other drivers. Road rage is a real danger. Don’t make eye contact.

Last but not least, I’m down in writing original content for this week’s Advance, but hopefully there is enough in this edition to entertain you.

“Look at all those people on the DWI pages inside. Glad that’s not me.”

No doubt, they wish the same, too. Don’t forget, Uber, a taxi, any ride app is cheaper than a DWI arrest. For some reason, people always seem to forget that and climb behind the wheel.

“Alcohol clouds the mind. That’s why. It’s clouded mine. That reminds me of my Tio Juan and my other uncle, Billy Bob, from my mom’s side of the family. After Tio Juan’s fourth DWI arrest, Billy B said he’d do the driving from then on, but he was more loaded than any of us knew, and he had this arrest warrant out of Kansas...something about him having two families.”

On a serious note — Merry Christmas to our readers, advertisers.

Happy Hanukkah if you happen to be Jewish.

I’d say, Happy Ramadan, but that ended last March.

No matter your religious tradition, or even if you don’t have one, may this week prove to be one without any tragedies. For any of us.

Good times only.