More porn, pot, sex, booze and lots of unhealthy junk food

I see studies go by all the time trying to answer this question: why can’t employers find workers now that the COVID-19 case numbers are dropping?

Another question: why don’t employees want to return to the office instead of working from home?

I think I’ve found the answer: a lot of them don’t want to leave home because they’re watching a lot of porn online, smoking copious amounts of weed, having more sex than they did when they had to work in an office (“Please lock the door”), binge watching Netflix, eating a lot of junk food, drinking more alcohol, and gaining weight. Burp.

There. Now how hard was that to decipher?

The sex sessions may be in decline, however, because the dope smoking, alcohol consumption, and weight gain may offset the workers’ libido. At least for the guys.

“Try another Viagra, why don’t you?”

“I think four is the limit.”

Even the fast-food joints and convenience stores can’t find workers.

“Why don’t you roll another doobie? And grab me another beer while you’re at it.”

It’s like the American workforce is now oversexed, over-doped, half drunk most of the time, 50 pounds overweight while they switch back and forth between Netflix and Pornhub (the website’s name says it all).

I’m getting all of this info from a Forbes piece published May 26, 2021: “Study shows people working from home are having sex, dating, taking naps and doing side hustles on company time.”

According to that story, the Nielsen Corporation revealed that “Alcohol sales were up 55 percent in the week ending March 21.”

In fact, according to the study, the people making money selling alcohol are making a killing: “Wine sales rose 66 percent, beer sales popped 42 percent, and online alcohol sales grew by an astounding 243 percent from last year at this time.”

Liver transplant anyone?

In states where pot is legal, dope sales are soaring. From the LA Times: “Amid coronavirus siege, California cannabis sales soared.”

As an employer, you might be wondering what some of your employees are doing at home while “on the clock” so to speak.

According to a recent study (May 2021) commissioned by e-conolight, you probably might not like the answer highlights:

# 41 percent were having sex (“Your boss will call back.”)

# Almost half said they’d had an alcoholic drink (Whoever stops with just one?)

# About 60 percent had taken a nap (“Wondering why he’s not answering my calls?”)

# An overwhelming 77 percent were shopping while on the clock (“I love these shoes”)

# About 50 percent were working a side hustle with another company

Others were, well, you probably don’t want to know if you’re a business owner.