• I always take life with a grain of salt, ... plus a slice of lemon, ... and a shot of tequila.• I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.• I hope I'm the last guy on earth — I want to see if all those women were lying to me.• If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?• Anyone who is popular is bound to be disliked.• Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.• If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.• ...