# My ex was a heart surgeon. She ripped my heart out.# Every time I find Mr. Right, my husband scares him away.# My husband told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two boyfriends.# The happiest time in a man's life is that period of time between his first and second marriage. The problem is ... he doesn't realize it, until the second marriage!# The secret to successful investing for retirement is to keep your first wife.# Make love, not war. Or do both; get married!# I just got back from a pleasure trip — I drove ...