“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.”“I’m at an age where my back goes out more than I do.”“On my honeymoon I put on a peekaboo blouse. My husband peeked and booed.”“Our vet told us that because of my cooking our cat has only two lives left.”“I’ve buried a lot of my laundry in the back yard.”“We spend the first 12 months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next 12 years teaching them to sit ...