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• What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher? Lots of blood tests! • Why did Dracula's mother give him cough medicine? Because he was having a coffin fit. • What did Dr. Frankenstein get when he put a goldfish brain in the body of his dog? I don't know, but it is great at chasing submarines. • Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party? 'Cos everyone was a goblin. • Why did the vampire's lunch give him heartburn? It was a stake sandwich. • Dracula decided he needed a dog, which breed did he choose? A bloodhound. • What do skeletons always order at a restaurant? Spare ribs! • Who was the most famous French skeleton? Napoleon bone-apart. • Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body. • What happened when a boy vampire met a girl vampire? It was love at first bite! • How does a girl vampire flirt? She bats her eyes. • What's did the girl say when a vampire kissed her? It was a pain in the neck. • What do you call a skeleton who won't work? Lazy bones. • What's a skeleton's favorite musical instrument? A trom-bone! • Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare centres. • Why don't skeletons like parties? They have no body to dance with. • What was the favorite game at the ghosts' birthday party? Hide and shriek. • Why do mummies make good employees? They get all wrapped up in their work. • Who did the ghost invite to his party? Anyone he could dig up! • Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? He didn't have a haunting license. • How can you tell if a vampire likes baseball? The night that he goes into a bat. • Where do spooks water ski? On Lake Erie. • Where do mummies go for a swim? To the dead sea. ...

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