• A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head.Wife: “What are you doing dear?”Husband: “Swatting flies — I got 3 males and 2 females.”Wife: “How do you know which gender they were?”Husband: “Easy — 3 were on the beer, and the other 2 were on the phone.” -----------• Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time.After inquiring about each other’s health, one asked how the other’s husband was doing.“Oh! Ted died last week.He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for ...