• Hallmark Card: “I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re still here.” • You’re never too old to learn something stupid. • We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control. • My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly, too. • Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go. • A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.” • Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a ...