If you can’t convince them, confuse them. Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math. IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you have got. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to swear? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell “BINGO!” “No, thanks. I'm a vegetarian." is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby. I have so much debt, I can start a government. I knew a blonde that was so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted ...