• “I never forget a face, but in your case I’d be glad to make an exception.”— Groucho Marx• “I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”— Tommy Cooper• “Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.”— W.C. Fields• “My wife sent her photograph to the Lonely Hearts Club. They sent it back saying they weren’t that lonely.”— Les Dawson• “If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at some of the people he gave it to.”— Dorothy Parker• “I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate ...