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LIFE’S LIGHTER SIDE

Two new deer hunters decided to separate to increases their chances. “What if we get lost?” Says one of them. “Fire three times up in the air, every hour on the hour,” says the other, “I saw it on TV.” Sure enough, one of the hunters gets lost, so he fires three times up into the air every hour on the hour. The next day the other hunter finds his friend with the help of the Forest Ranger. “Why didn’t you do what I said?” asked the hunter. “I did! I fired three times up into the air every hour on the hour, until I ran out of arrows.” I asked my llama if his cousin wanted to go camping. Thrilled, he ran off screaming, “Alpaca tent!”. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After eating their dinner around the campfire they retire to the tent to go to sleep. A few hours later Sherlock wakes up. “Watson, are you awake?” He asks. “Yes, sir. What is it?” Answers Watson. “Look up and tell me what you see.” Asks Holmes. “I see billions of stars,” says Watson. “And what does that tell you Watson,” asks Holmes. “Well,” says Dr Watson, “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.” “Why? – What does it tell you, Holmes?” Holmes is quiet for a moment then says: “It tells me that someone has stolen our tent.” It was late in the day when a fully loaded minivan pulled into the only remaining campsite. As soon as it stopped, the doors flew open and four children jumped out. They began to unload gear and worked feverishly to set up the tent. Next, the boys ran to gather firewood while the girls and their mother set up the camp kitchen area. The camper in the space next to them marvelled to the children’s father, “I’ve never seen such teamwork nor a camp that was ready so quickly. I’m impressed.” The father turned to the neighbour and nodded sagely. “I have a system,” he said. “No one goes to the bathroom before the camp is set up.” ...

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